I’ve been stalling on officially updating my dating life…because the guy I went out with on Date #5 turned out to be pretty cool. My first thought upon meeting him was that he was too old for me. However, I am serious about not making snap judgments about people and this time it seems to be paying off. Although my initial reaction evoked the fight-or-flight response, it lasted only a moment. I almost always have a nice time on dates, so I figured I might as well relax and enjoy the experience.
Dave was immediately warm and charming…and a good conversationalist. In a way, he is not my type at all in terms of physicality. He’s a good 4 inches taller than me, which I am not used to. I’m tall, and although I like to complain about my shorter friends stealing all of the tall men (leaving me with the shorter ones), I am intimidated by men who are taller than me. But, it kind of turns me on, too. He also has the physique of a football player. Once again, this sort of turns me on, but at the same time it has been a turnoff in the past because guys like this are usually meatheads. Or maybe that’s an unchallenged stereotype I’ve been carrying around in my head. He’s actually not the first guy I’ve known who has turned out to be a gentle, intelligent, sensitive, empathetic…giant.
Ultimately, the reason I like him is because he is very intelligent and very sensitive. I was roughhousing with him yesterday and he said I was hurting him. He didn’t like it. Some women may find sensitivity in a guy a turnoff, but I find it to be a huge turnon. I like a guy with a nice balance of masculine and feminine traits. I have a balance of these traits myself and I need someone to complement me. I can be socially clueless and awkward and an emotional flake, so I like to date guys with the supposedly ‘feminine’ traits of being socially skilled, empathetic, and understanding.
Cindy Thomas
Cindy, Dating 