Dating, Libido, and Antidepressants

September 8, 2008

As I casually mentioned in a previous post, antidepressants sometimes have what they call “sexual side effects,” which may include some or all of the following: trouble getting in the mood, staying in the mood, and/or reaching orgasm.  This is fine and dandy if you’re not doing a combination of the following: taking antidepressants, dating, and/or interested in having sex.

Dave and I are both very intelligent, but both come from significantly dysfunctional families.  I’ll save the discussion of how intelligence and dysfunction might relate for another time.  The point is, we’re both smart, successful (he’s a tenured college professor), reasonably happy, mildly neurotic, and fun to be around…but only if we take our medication(s).  Between the two of us, we have tried every antidepressant and ADD medication under the sun, including those that were developed to treat other disorders but have shown promise for “off label use” for the treatment of depression, anxiety, or inattention…or any other symptom or side effect of other drugs.  Once you start taking one medication or a combination of medications, sometimes you end up with undesirable side effects and need to tweak your drug cocktail.

In case you wonder, why take the medications at all?  It’s called “quality of life,” people.  I’ve been taking antidepressants on and off for about 18 years.  Trust me, this has given me ample time to weigh the pros and cons of taking various medications.  When I am “in treatment,” I am less likely to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, and engage in impulsive and reckless behavior.  And I’m happier.  And I attract healthier people into my life.  Use your imagination to figure out what I’m like when I’m not “in treatment.”

Back to the present, Dave and I are experiencing sexual side effects from the medications we are taking.  It doesn’t mean we haven’t had fun together, but there have been a few, uh, anticlimactic moments.  We’ve both been down this road before and have consulted our shrinks and have begun tweaking our meds.  We’re both confident that we will make up for lost time soon enough, but meanwhile, we are both moody as our brains and bodies adjust.

I just turned 36. I’m ready to start dating again.

August 7, 2008

I moved to Washington, DC a year and a half ago.  Since then, I have been on one date.  I figured, at the rate I was going, I was going to be single forever.  Which isn’t the worst thing on earth, by the way.  I’ll write about that another time.  For now, I need a forum to mentally process this complex endeavor.  A few weeks ago, I posted another profile on  I did this a few years ago and had many decent dates as a result.  So, I posted my profile, with a picture taken in the last year or so, and a little bit of basic information about myself and what I’m looking for.


Based on my last experience with, I figured I would have a date within a week.  I was not disappointed in quick responses to my profile.  I was sure to list one of my favorite activities in my profile – cycling.  I did this because much (or should I say all?!!) of my dating experiences in my twenties involved a sport called drinking alcohol.  Fast forward to the present, and the last thing I want to do is date someone with a drinking problem, so I figured listing wholesome activities would be a good way to attract people with healthier addictions, I mean habits.