This week is my third week back to normal. Unfortunately, dating tends to throw me off my routine. I’m almost back, but not quite back to 100% yet.
I’ve learned how to objectively measure my well-being over the years. It’s like a personal depression thermometer. In addition to counting how many days I rode my bike to work, I think about how many showers I have taken (seriously!), how many days I have worn decent clothes (something beyond a “nice” tshirt, like a knit or something that requires ironing), how many days I have worn makeup, how many hours I have watched tv, and how many hours I have slept.
On a good week, I ride my bike to work 4 or 5 days, take about 7 showers, wear decent clothes once or twice, and wear (very little, but its there) makeup at least 5 days, sleep 8 hours a night, and watch little tv.
My bike stats are good for the last three weeks, but the rest aren’t quite up to par. My sleep is okay and I haven’t watched tv in weeks, but I’ve been feeling more stressed and tired than usual. I’ve come to work unshowered 2 or 3 times in the last two weeks and haven’t worn an ounce of makeup in the recent past…until today, that is. I’m starting to feel better, now that I am slowly reversing some of my medication changes.
The lexapro doesn’t seem to work for me. I just have to count the number of times I’ve cared enough to take a shower, put on decent clothes, and a little bit of makeup on my face before I come to work over the last few weeks to see that I’m starting to slide downhill. The extended release adderal causes intense anxiety, but I took it for 4 or 5 days in a row because I was feeling too lethargic to make it to the pharmacy to get the short-release kind. Classic.
Dear Coworkers: Had you been wondering why I’ve looked more disheveled recently? Or did you not even notice?
Meanwhile, I’ve been updating my relationship non-negotiables list (my last 2 posts). It’s evolving, with support from CremelloQuarterPony, Little Miss Obsessive, and Wonferdul, I have started my “Cindy’s Perfect Guy” list. I will use this as a template to write my next personal ad! By the time I finish, I just may have the energy and optimism to go on another date…