To Date or Not To Date…Harley

October 5, 2008

I’m not sure where to start when it comes to the possibility of dating Harley.  He doesn’t have ALL of my ideal traits, not that I’ve even gotten around to listing them yet.  I’ll just report on how he fits into the things I am looking for that I have defined so far:

some level of success (I guess I should define this further…)

This is the #1 catch with Harley so far.  In the past, I have NEVER held a lack of formal education against a guy.  Not everyone has had the opportunities that I have had.  At least half the guys I’ve dated have NOT had college degrees.  At some point, I came to the conclusion that I should only date guys who have college degrees and/or are successful by some other standards.

Harley went to college, but did not finish.  He got married when he was young and had three kids.  He was married for 18 years (divorced two years ago) and his kids are just about grown (i.e., almost out of the house).  He never went back to school because he was too busy providing for his family. 

an ability to conform to social expectations(being weird is okay, as long as you can turn it off voluntarily)

Harley is really good at this.  His effusive behavior is a bit over the top at times when he’s goofing around, but on the turn of a dime he can go into serious, normal, professional mode.

English language mastery



Seems like it, but I guess I don’t know that for sure.  I’ll have to report back at a later date.

accurate perception of self

So far, so good.  He’s not overly hard on himself and he doesn’t think he’s Gods gift to the world, either.  (Dave seemed to think he was more evolved than he actually was…he didn’t take responsibility for his behavior, but was quick to make comments about mine).

healthy and exercises regularly

It seems like he’s in pretty good shape, but I don’t know his exercise habits yet.

does not eat meat every day

I think he is a typical carnivore.  I even caught him going to McDonalds with his coworkers one day.  I’m just as likely to dine on jupiter as I am to dine at McDonalds. 

agreement on politics

He isn’t keeping up on politics as much as we are in my office, but seeing as how we are “inside the Beltway,” we have the standards set pretty damn high.  He does have a newspaper article about Obama on the wall by his desk, so that’s a good sign.

likes animals (and is not allergic to them)

He ALSO has three dogs.  Don’t see any problems there, unless his dogs like to eat cats and/or other people’s big dogs.  He definitely gets points for being an animal person.

positive role model for Baby Bear

He is a hard worker and completely dedicated to his family.  His mother was a social worker (as am I).  He is generous and claims to NEVER run out of patience with children or people with disabilities (I am IMpatient and would love to be with someone who is NOT like me!).

Baby Bear has already asked me if he’s married.  Baby Bear is my own (unpaid) professional matchmaker.  He said Harley would make the perfect dad because he has a “tight bike” (a.k.a. cool motorcycle).  I added, “And he has nitrus boosters in his car…and I didn’t even think they were real!”

I am soooo not into cars and all that crap, but Baby Bear is really into that stuff.  I think motorcycles are too dangerous, but if I could afford one, I would have one.  I am an adreneline junkie.

Dogs, Dating, and Cell Phones

October 4, 2008

One small component of my bizarre week (the weirdest I’ve had in ages) was losing my cell phone yesterday.  I dropped it at the park.  Someone took it, ignored my repeated calls and accidentally called me on my other phone and hung up on me.  I tried calling several more times.  It made me sad that someone didn’t want to give me my (crappy) cell phone back.  Defeated, I called to suspend service to the (crappy) phone.

A few months ago, I washed my new cell phone in the washing machine.  It’s not something I recommend.  I have a LOT of experience with cell phones and water and it tends not to end well.  After the washing machine incident, I switched back to my previous cell phone, which Patrick had bought for me.


I lost a cell phone in a lake a few summers ago.  After replacing the “lake phone” (that I loved, but they stopped making that style) with a phone I didn’t like (but paid $200 for) I refused to purchase any more cell phones.  So, when my brand new $200 phone that I didn’t even like was thrown into a river a few weeks later, I stubbornly decided I would not replace it. 

Patrick’s dog killed my brand new phone.  While Patrick and I were skinny dipping in a river, our dogs were having a jolly old time running around in the dark.  When I got out, my sweatshirt was missing.  I found it about 20 feet away from the dock where I left it.  I checked the pockets…my keys were still there, but my cell phone was gone.  When I realized my cell phone was missing, Patrick told me he should have mentioned that his dog goes berserk when phones ring in vibration mode.  Apparently, his dog had pulled it out of my sweatshirt pocket and shook it (trying to break its neck/kill it) and in the process, it flew out of the side of his mouth and into the river.  Guess who was calling me?  The woman who flipped the jet ski, causing my last phone to sink to the bottom of a lake a few weeks earlier.

Patrick fished my phone out of the water about 10 minutes later, but it was too late.  It never worked again.  After a couple of days he realized I was serious about not replacing it.  I love technology, but I have a stubborn streak.  He didn’t like not being able to call me.  He bought me a new one and even had the service transferred for me.

When I lost my cell phone yesterday, my first thought was to invest in a CrackBerry.  I’ve been wanting one for about a year now.  After finding some great prices on eBay, I looked at my checking account.  No can do.  I can’t afford to buy a low-end phone, let alone a high-end phone at the moment.

As fate would have it, Harley was in the building today.  I was getting caught up on work.  I could hear him talking on his CrackBerry in the hallway, so I jumped up to say hi before he got on the elevator.  He brightened up, like he does every time he sees me (although I admit he is the kind of person who brightens up for everyone, which is one thing that is really cool about him).  He said he would give me his old phone (his employer just bought him the CrackBerry a week ago).  Nice!  This alleviates some of my financial stress and feelings of being overwhelmed.

To top it off, later in the day, he drove 15 miles out of his way in urban traffic to drop the cell phone off in my mailbox.  That, my friends, is the kind of thing a guy does for you when he is really into you.

Dating Best (and Worst) Practices

October 1, 2008

Today I was going to share one of my (few) dating best practices.  I’ll go ahead and share it, even though I proceeded to IGNORE it and spend 2 hours IMing with a guy.  I made a rule (which I just broke) that I would not IM guys any more since they seem to be IMing for booty calls.  So, I composed this yesterday:

Hi…I just signed in to check my email.  Send me an email and I will look at your profile.  Thanks!

That way I can “agree” to chat, paste that in, and then close the chat down.  That way I get rid of the stupid request.  Otherwise it goes bing, bing, bing as long as you’re logged in.  I did use this approach earlier and it worked pretty well.  And, of course, the guys didn’t bother sending me emails.  Or maybe they did.  I don’t remember.  Dating, IM, and email just turns into a big blur sometimes.

So, I finally figured out how to look at a guys profile before agreeing to IM him.  This guy has one of those hunky main pictures (no shirt) and I had to roll my eyes.  But then I saw a picture of his dogs. 

oh so cute

oh so cute

They were so cute, I decided to chat with him.  I wasted 2+ freaking hours talking to him.  I might meet him in person, so who knows if it was a total waste.  But, I have a headache and I didn’t mean to talk for more than 5 minutes!!!

This whole IM dating thing is like CRACK.

I may need treatment soon.  If I write any more posts like this, send for backup!