Dating Best (and Worst) Practices

October 1, 2008

Today I was going to share one of my (few) dating best practices.  I’ll go ahead and share it, even though I proceeded to IGNORE it and spend 2 hours IMing with a guy.  I made a rule (which I just broke) that I would not IM guys any more since they seem to be IMing for booty calls.  So, I composed this yesterday:

Hi…I just signed in to check my email.  Send me an email and I will look at your profile.  Thanks!

That way I can “agree” to chat, paste that in, and then close the chat down.  That way I get rid of the stupid request.  Otherwise it goes bing, bing, bing as long as you’re logged in.  I did use this approach earlier and it worked pretty well.  And, of course, the guys didn’t bother sending me emails.  Or maybe they did.  I don’t remember.  Dating, IM, and email just turns into a big blur sometimes.

So, I finally figured out how to look at a guys profile before agreeing to IM him.  This guy has one of those hunky main pictures (no shirt) and I had to roll my eyes.  But then I saw a picture of his dogs. 

oh so cute

oh so cute

They were so cute, I decided to chat with him.  I wasted 2+ freaking hours talking to him.  I might meet him in person, so who knows if it was a total waste.  But, I have a headache and I didn’t mean to talk for more than 5 minutes!!!

This whole IM dating thing is like CRACK.

I may need treatment soon.  If I write any more posts like this, send for backup!

Plenty of Fish Hangover

September 30, 2008

After yesterday’s escapade into the previously uncharted (at least for me) territory of IMing with strangers, it seemed fitting that I call Patrick (imagine a sex-crazed entrepreneurial mad scientist).  If he didn’t live so far away (500+ miles), he would have been one lucky guy last night.

Patrick was busy last night, so we only talked for a few minutes (about the bailout, which is not why I called).  He called me back this morning on his way to work.  I told him I was frisky and frustrated.  He wanted to hear about my latest escapades and fantasies, but I told him I didn’t have any real action to report…and (he should know this by now) I am shy when it comes to sharing fantasies.  That helped jog his memory…he suddenly remembered I like to hear about his sexual experiences, so he hesitantly admitted to a fairly recent CraigsList hookup.

I knew it would be a good story based on his reluctant tone.  It was a “party”…at a gym.  I kept asking, “…and then what?…” until he finished spilling the beans.  I’ll have to spare you the details because I don’t run a porn site here!  The moral of the story is that he had a great time, but he felt sick about it afterwards.

That’s how I feel about yesterday’s IMing experience.  It was kind of gross and inappropriate.  I managed to get drawn in, thanks to my hormones.  Being turned on is intoxicating and impairs ones judgment!  Now, today I feel kind of gross. 

Dating IM Overload

September 29, 2008

I kind of hated it, but it was kind of fun.  Like blogging, its addicting.

I’ve never been much of an IM person.  I came of age before IM.  The first person I ever IMed with was a friend of mine, Gabe.  We had known of each other for years (we grew up in the same town) and had been friends for a couple of years.  I had developed an intense crush on him during that time.  One day, after I had moved away, we ended up chatting on IM.  I somehow got carried away and admitted to him that I had feelings for him.  The feelings were not reciprocal, but that is not the point of the story.  The point is that this novel form of communication somehow lessened my inhibitions, enabling me to say something I wouldn’t otherwise say, so I’ve avoided it over the years…

One of the sites I posted my profile on was  When I checked my email on that site this morning, someone tried to IM me.  Usually I ignore IMs, but against my better judgment, I thought, what the heck…and responded.  I decided ahead of time that I would limit the conversation to five minutes.  That was wise.  We chatted for a few minutes.  I looked at his profile, which I couldn’t figure out how to do BEFORE agreeing to chat with him. 

His profile had two red flags.  He is bi-racial and dates white women.  I’m an equal opportunity dater, probably to my detriment, so I find it problematic when people limit themselves to a particular race.  As if it isn’t hard enough to find someone as it is…by the time you factor in racial preferences, height preferences, yada yada yada, the dating pool gets reeealllly small.

I checked my email again at around 4:45pm and ended up getting chat requests from three different guys.  I figured, what the heck, the work day is over, why not talk to three people at the same time?!!  I managed to exchange email addresses with two people, both of whom noticed I was a bit distracted.  I flattered the guy who was the cutest for good measure.  Anyway, I ended up chatting with the least likely prospect, a 24 year old guy, for an hour.  When I say prospect, I mean boy toy prospect.  That’s not what I was looking for, but after my experience with Dave, I’ve been left a bit…how shall we say…frustrated and unsatisfied?!!

So, I had my first almost-internet/phone-sex with someone!  I’ve always thought that was silly and never thought I would be into it, but it was kind of fun.  We talked on the phone, too, which I normally NEVER do this early.  I guess because I knew he wasn’t a true dating prospect, I let my guard down.

Unfortunately, or probably fortunately, he lives 30 miles away.  Otherwise I would probably be having sex with him – in real life – right now.  I am glad he lives far enough away to make that impractical.  AND I am so glad that my libido seems to have returned!  I don’t know if this will be a short-lived fluke or not, but it feels good to be alive!