I’m Definitely Going to Hell

October 9, 2008

Normally, I just grab photos off the internet.  Not that it’s much more legal than what I am doing here.  This is Grant.  He’s the one who wanted the “full body pic” (here are the two posts I’ve written about him and his request before now).  His early request for a full body picture set off a red flag.  I tried to be open-minded, though.  I hate to write someone off for one thing they do or say.

Since the last time he emailed me on Saturday, I replied that I was going to be working over the weekend, although I had talked about bringing my son to the place where he works (which I have brilliantly obscured using GIMP).  I know I’m talented.  Please don’t try this at home.

Now that Cremello Quarter Pony has decided to emerge from her dating sabbatical, it occurred to me that I should actually check my email, seeing as how I haven’t looked at three sites worth of email in several days.  My psyche needed a rest from the slimy underbelly of the “free” online dating world.  I logged in to plentyoffish.com to check my email and Grant IMs me.  I’ve already weaned myself off IM since Cremello Quarter Pony threatened an intervention, but I responded since I already know him.

I declined the two other requests (hello, I log in for 3 minutes to check my email and I have random people trying to IM me who have never bothered to email me).  Ick.

He asks what happened.  I told him I worked all weekend.  Then he asks me when I’m sending a full body pic.  He said something about me being “gorgeous.”  I guess he was assuming I haven’t shared it because I lack self-confidence…and he was assuring me that he already thinks I’m gorgeous so that I will be “brave” enough to send him a pic?  Hello, dude, that is soooo not the issue.  The first time my best friend in college saw me in a bathing suit, she was surprised to find I “look like Cindy Crawford.”  Granted I’ve had a kid since then and have gained 25 pounds, but I still have a great body.

On behalf of all of the women out there who have different body types, I refuse to “benefit” from the fact that my body resembles a constructed “ideal” of what a woman is “supposed to” look like.  As I told my friend who nicknamed me Cindy (and who had self-image issues with her own body) years later, being “hot” does NOT improve your quality of life, at least not when it comes to men.  My own “slammin” body has yet to “attract” a guy worth his weight in horse manure.

I entertained the conversation for a minute.  I told him I have my digital camera with me, but that the memory card is full (which is true).  I told him I would take a picture and email it from my gmail account (a dummy account he already has sent email to).  I also told him that the “price” of the photo would be that I would assume he’s a jerk.

And then he asks me something like how am I going to send it?  I responded by saying something like:

If you aren’t going to bother reading what I just wrote, I am not going to send you a picture (I had just said I would email it!)

Every time I log in this site to check my email, I get IMs and emails from  creeps. 

One of the last emails I got included a picture of a naked man with a bag over his head.  I’m getting fed up.

I waited a couple of minutes and he didn’t respond to any of the 3 separate IMs.  I closed out the window.  He could have sent me an email to clarify the situation (if I was misunderstanding his jerk factor), but he didn’t.  What a shame.  His loss.

PS You need a full body pic?  Really?  And this is YOUR full body pic…and the only pic you’ve given me?  In addition to your leather jacket, you are probably wearing long johns and a uniform.  Let me guess.  If I take a similar picture of myself wearing several layers of clothing and sitting on a horse (or my German Shepherd) you will be disappointed?

(Depends on How You Define ((Free)) Dating Websites)

October 2, 2008

I’ve been on three free dating web sites for about 4 days now.  I’m considering the possibility of cancelling them all.  I’m not going to make any rash decisions, but that’s where I’m at.

So far, I’ve invested most of my time to plentyoffish.com, although that wasn’t a conscious decision.  I signed up for three “free” websites on the same evening, but got the most action from plentyoffish.  It’s turned out to be quite a meat market. 

As I’ve written in my last couple of posts, I’ve spent several hours IMing people.  Unless you are looking for a booty call or wanting to chat with a stranger endlessly, I do not recommend using IM on plentyoffish.  These are people who don’t take the time to compose an email to you and have no intention of staying in contact with you beyond a random IM conversation and/or booty call.

If you’re looking to hook up, I HIGHLY recommend it.  Just use a condom. 

One of the IMs that popped up yesterday said “I have a [ding dong] and  you have a mouth.  Let them meet.”  Eeewww.  These web sites may be “free” in terms of not requiring a credit card payment, but I am paying via daily assaults to my mental health.  I don’t need to be exposed to this kind of harassment.

OKcupid.com got off to a really slow start, but them someone (I guess a customer service person?) emailed me and told me I had to start answering questions in order to show up in searches.  Apparently you answer a series of questions from time to time and this helps with the matching.  You answer the question and specify how you would like the other person to answer them, then indicate how important their answer is to you.  You can also skip questions, which is cool.