Men Have Radar That Detects When a Girl is Ready to Move On

September 21, 2008

I had scheduled my “relationship post-mortem” for today, now that I’ve had some distance from Dave.  I went ahead and posted it a little while ago.

We last spoke 11 days ago and I never thought I would hear from him again.  Naturally, on the day that I plan to officially put closure on the relationship, he calls.  This reminds me of something Little Miss Obsessive wrote recently:

Sometimes, I feel like guys have this radar that detects when a girl is ready to move on.  It’s almost like they can hear you thinking “I’m done” and they know they need to step up or they will lose you…

For as socially inept as men can be sometimes, they have a knack for timing.  I’m going to try to make this post quick, because I’m hoping to catch the Neanderthal Code tonight on the National Geographic Channel.  I have a strong suspicion the show will help me understand what went wrong with Dave.  I had said he was not a meathead, but I think I may have been mistaken.

I need to vent for a moment…

The message he left said that he hadn’t called me because he was giving me space/time (if you’re going to blow me off, don’t tell me you did it for my own good – this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this crock of sh!t) since the last time we spoke I was in a “dark place.”  Huh?  Last time we talked, I said I was feeling apathetic about being social (really, I was just apathetic about talking to him, but was trying to be polite).  He immediately interpreted my apathy as a sign of depression.  I assured him this was not the case, that I feel apathetic from time to time and for me that is NOT the same thing as feeling depressed.

But, per his usual behavior, he assumed I was in a dark place and didn’t listen to me when I said I wasn’t in a dark place and proceeds to call me 11 days later to check on me to see how I’m doing since I was in a dark place last time we talked.  WTF?

Hey Dave, thanks for the concern 1.5 weeks later, dumb@ss!  Your support over the last 11 days (not calling me, but chatting with chics on has been priceless. 

Dating Tips for Men

August 22, 2008

I am extremely open-minded and flexible in terms of what I consider good-looking.  After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Kindness, empathy, and understanding can facilitate the growth of physical attraction.  Having said that, there are many great guys out there who aren’t successful at dating because they don’t realize the way they present themselves is a sexual turn-off for women.


I can’t speak for other women, but I prefer to date men my own age…or at least men with fashion sensibilities similar to my peers.  Regardless of your age, if the way you dress reminds me of a toddler, I will be turned off.  Similarly, if your style of dress reminds me of the way my dad dresses, I will be turned off.  In a way, I feel guilty about this, but in a way I don’t because this is something you have control over.


For the sake of all of the nice guys out there who have a hard time finding dates, I am offering advice.  If you lack fashion sense, get help!  If you haven’t gone shopping in 15 years, go shopping…and get help with it!  Ask a female friend or acquaintance to help you update your look.  Or ask a female salesperson to help.  Little changes can make a big difference. 


For your sake, I will share the unfortunately too-common turnoffs I see in men.


I like bald men.  I like men with hair too.  I grew up with a lot of bald male relatives, so baldness isn’t a big deal for me.  However, if you are going bald, please avoid the following:

  • combovers (yes, I’ve seen single men with these)
  • long hair
  • medium length hair
  • ponytails (as a friend reminded me to include)

If you’re going bald, embrace it.  Shave your head or keep your hair trimmed to 1/4″ or less as a general rule.  Letting your remaining hair grow any longer makes you look like you hit your prime in the 1970’s.  Particularly, if you think you are enough of a stud to attract a woman significantly younger than yourself, this is important.  No matter how rich, intelligent, and kind you are, having the same fashion sensibilities as her father is not a sexual turn-on for her.  If it is, I suggest therapy.  Likewise, if you find toddler shoes to be erotic, please seek professional help.


Men, please don’t wear fanny packs.  If you must, man purses are preferable.  Also, Never wear shoes with velcro closures.  I know I capitalized the word never, but this is for a good reason.  Wearing shoes that were originally designed for toddlers and preschoolers is NOT attractive to women. 


Last but not least, if you wear glasses, pick out some stylish ones.  I don’t care how old you are.  I dated an older man who had glasses very similar to my dad’s glasses.  This is the guy whose moves I rebuffed on the second date.  I was trying to be open minded and see if an attraction might develop over time, but he rushed the process and ended up completely turning me off.  If his wardrobe and glasses weren’t so similar to my father’s, he very well might have had better luck with me.