Fine, I’ll Come Out and Say It: I’m a Single Parent

September 10, 2008

I blog about dating and a few of my more recent posts briefly mention my son.  So, today, I am officially coming out of the closet as a single parent.  In Cindy, Living I wrote about why I am hesitant to publicly embrace this status.  I am now putting this fact about myself out there.  If you have read my blog before, you already know I am not your typical mom, single parent, or for that matter, human being.

I have been hesitant to identify as a single parent for two main reasons.  First, it is not my primary identity or role.  I am me first.  I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a nerd, a policy wonk, a rebel, and animal lover…among other things.  Being a mother, or more specifically, a single parent is only one component of who I am.

At the same time, I know I must embrace this “single parent” identity in order to help redefine it as something that is…okay.  It’s okay to be a single parent.  My life is not inherently flawed or defective, nor is the life of my son.  If his father was not an alcoholic, he might still be a part of our family.  Or maybe not.  Regardless, I do what’s best for my son. 

I just joined a single parent group on facebook (Single Parent Connections).  I heard about it while checking out other people’s dating blogs.  That’s what got me thinking about this whole single parent identity thing.  I guess rather than be shy about it, I will be more vocal about it.  It’s nice to know there are other single parents out there who aren’t ashamed to continue seeing themselves as sexual beings.  To borrow some content from the facebook page, “We are raising kids solo or co-parenting in two homes…We are navigating custody schedules or managing totally alone…We are looking for romance online or maybe just a friend with benefits.”  I think I might like these people.