Online Dating and Full Body Pictures

October 3, 2008

Another guy emailed me.  I wouldn’t have answered his ad, but he put a picture of himself up for long enough for me to look at it, then took it back down.  His name is Grant.  Well, actually it’s not.  Remember, I choose to protect the innocent.  Speaking of innocence and guilt, he is a police officer.  And he’s 6’4″.  I imagined a meathead, but from his picture, he seems like a nice fellow.  There’s something about pictures that (sometimes) captures the essence of people.

We emailed back and forth a couple of times.  He gave me his phone number.  I called a day or two later and left a message.  He called me back the next day.  He was a little softspoken on the phone (not a domineering voice).  I had been having a pretty bad day, but got off the phone in a great mood.  He seems like one of the few “normals” on the site.

We each exchanged another picture.  He texted me last night asking if I had any “full body pics.”  I said “no.”  He said “come on.”  I said “you’re starting to sound like the jerks I’ve been dealing with.”  He said “ok.”  He asked if I was online.  I said “no, I’m looking for my dog.”

One of my dogs had escaped “the compound.”  There’s a narrow space in the corner of the front yard where the fences come together.  He figured out he can squeeze through it if he slithers through it like a snake, rotating his shoulders and hips back and forth.  He’s a momma’s boy, so he’s never gone for long.  Once he’s chased enough rabbits, he comes running home with his head down, waiting for me to bop him on the head.

Anyway, back to the full body picthing.  I’ve spent a total of more than a year doing online dating.  No one has EVER asked me for a full body pic.  I don’t do “full body pics.”  I think it’s sleazy when people use them in dating profiles.  It’s like, Hi, I’m Cindy, look at me, I’m sticking my boobs out for you.  I have more respect for myself.

If you don’t like to date fat people, guess what?  Neither do I.  I can tell by looking at a guys picture (usually) if he is fat or not.  It’s not even about vanity for me, it’s about physical health.  I don’t want to date someone who is killing themselves with Big Macs.

I can’t decide if this is just an innocent request or a red flag.  On the one hand it’s arguably not a big deal, but I don’t like feeling like I’m a piece of meat.  This is an issue of principle for me.  I have a great body.  I’m not trying to hide anything.  I just find the request invasive.