Social Skills, or Lack Thereof

August 19, 2008

Did I mention I’m socially clueless, especially when it comes to men?  Contrary to popular belief, social skills don’t always come naturally.  At least for some people, they are a set of skills that are learned.  I’ve always had a hard time with social skills.  Although my friends don’t believe me, I swear I really am a shy person. 

 

I don’t feel comfortable around new people, especially if I don’t know anything about them, like how they see the world.  I need to understand your social and political ideology before I can have a conversation with you.  I’m serious.  Unless you’re a freaky liberal and/or really smart, I can’t have a conversation with you.  I don’t know how to talk to ‘normal people.’

 

Normal people talk about the weather, sports, what they did last weekend, and what they are doing next weekend.  They share stories about the times they got pulled over by the police and the times they came oh so close to missing their plane.  Oh, the drama!  I’d rather stab myself with a fork than listen to small talk for more than 30 seconds.

 

My social skills are better when I am fulfilling a role of some sort.  For example, in the workplace, I need to work with Jack and Jill to carry the water down the hill.  Or I need to go to a conference and staff the tacky conference booth.  Last time I did that, I got a job offer from the person at the next booth, quit my job, and moved to a different state.  I can be smooth at times.

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