Why I (Sometimes) Hate Dating

September 8, 2008

It seems like dating requires so much thought.  Is it possible to put too much thought into it?  Probably.  Is it possible to put too little thought into it?  Heck, yeah.  Been down that road enough times.  I guess that’s why I lean towards over-thinking.  At the same time, I do my best not to perseverate on any given thing.  That’s why I like to write.  Writing allows me to think things through without going in too many circles, which is what happens if I just let thoughts roll around in my head.

Here’s where I’m at.  I am afraid I may have reached a point of no return with Dave.  Keep in mind we’re both only moderately sane at the moment, dealing with medication side effects like anxiety and irritability.  Having said that, he is starting to get on my nerves.  Since he’s tweaked his meds, he’s been grumpier…and so have I.  It’s a little early in the relationship for this to be happening, but that’s how it’s playing out thanks to medication side effects.

When I’m irritable, I usually stop talking to people.  But, I’m trying to be an adult and maintain this relationship with Dave.  I was overdue to call him, so I gave him a call.  I have been pretty quiet the last few days, so I made an effort to talk.  I told him how I was having trouble with Baby Bear turning in his homework.  Baby Bear is very smart, but flakes out with “simple” tasks like turning in assignments.  It’s hereditary.  That kind of flakiness runs in Dave’s family, too.  Some people call it ADD/ADHD.  Some people call it mild Autism or Asperger Syndrome

Anyway, I said I need to talk to the adults at his school because there is only so much I can do to help him to remember to turn his homework in.  Dave then said, in what I perceived to be a judgmental tone of voice, that Baby Bear will eventually have to learn these things in order to function in the world.  While Dave has a point, I really didn’t appreciate his comment.  I reminded him that we, as “challenged” adults, have technology to help us remember things.  I said, “We have cell phones, PDAs, Outlook…”  He interrupted me to say that Baby Bear has a cell phone.  I said “I know.”  I slowly went on to try to make the point that PDAs can be used to set reminders…and that Baby Bear has a really basic cell phone with no data services…but I lost my steam…and my interest in continuing the conversation.

While he has a point, the kid is in the 6th grade!  Dave has barely even met him and already seems impatient with him.  Maybe impatient isn’t the right word.  He’s measuring him by adult standards.  What really gets to me is that Dave has the same kind of problems…he’s really smart, but has a hard time with the supposedly easy aspects of life.  Why is he being grumpy about an 11-year-old?  Whenever people are impatient with children, I can’t help but think they must not like themselves very much. 

We’ve already been a little short with each other at times, but we have been able to easily let it pass.  Now I think he’s being difficult and it’s not acceptable to me.  Maybe I’m overly sensitive at the moment, but I need the people in my life to support me, not give me a hard time.