I Found the Cure for Loneliness!

 

I can’t believe it’s taken me this many years to figure it out.  If it was a simpler solution, I would have had this figured out years ago.  As it turns out, there is a scientific formula.  It goes something like this:

loneliness + desire to date + dating = confusion + frustration

dating + “free” dating sites = fear + disgust + cynicism

frustration + chocolate = less confusion

loneliness + vibrator = momentary happiness

dating + blogging about it + chocolate + vibrator = an absence of loneliness

I may not win the Nobel Peace Prize for the above calculations, but that’s okay.  The above sums up the degree of excitement (or should I say apathy?) I’m feeling about dating at the moment. 

The good news is that I am getting a serious change of scenery next week.  I will be checking out as many eligible men as possible in California.  It’s a big state and I’ll only have 4 or 5 days, but I’ll see what I can come up with.

Meanwhile, Harley and I have plans to hang out on Friday night.  Hmmm.  I wonder if it will pan out?

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7 Responses to I Found the Cure for Loneliness!

  1. katieusher says:

    This is the first thing that has made me smile all day!! Thank you.

    I will remember the equation 🙂

  2. I LOVE THIS EQUATION. I might have to make us bumper stickers.

    YAY HARLEY! I am psyched to hear about how you guys get along (or not!)!

  3. Cindy Thomas says:

    Cool. I like bumper stickers 🙂

    Harley and I are definitely on for Friday. We also talked on the phone last night…a first!

  4. Dang, I’m missing a lot of stuff in that equation.. I better fix that stat! heh

  5. attainingme says:

    I love this!! Man I think I have to put something back in to use. No wonder . . .

    :)! Do you think they will check my bags if I transport vibrators to Puerto Rico?

  6. Cindy Thomas says:

    I hope everyone has at least one good vibrator. I bought one a few years back and I bought it online. One of the joys of online shopping…anonymity…it’s a “massager” anyway 🙂

    AttainingMe: How many do you have and are you planning on taking them ALL to Puerto Rico?!!

  7. attainingme says:

    haha. I have 5-10?. Definitely not in use. Let’s say i had a great boyfriend once and he was the catalyst of my purchases.
    I suppose that’s why they aren’t in use. A vibrator to me was always something initiated by a great lover where no boundaries existed. The opposite of what vibrators can and should be now to me.

    THank you for reminding me. And I think taking ONE is a good place to start. But I am rather nervous. Buying one there may be better, but the lack of anonymity in PR makes the airport scenario seem slightly less daunting. Hmmm

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