OkPervert, I mean, OkCupid

If you don’t want to get grossed out and mortified, DON’T READ THIS POST.  I’ll post another one shortly to bury this one.  I’m torn between wanting to share my REAL experiences with online dating and not wanting to traumatize or jade my fellow bloggers and readers.  So, if you have a weak stomach, stop reading now!

I could write a whole post (or more) on screen names.  Some of them are goofy.  Some are dumb.  Some are funny.  Some…leave me at a loss for words.

I assume at this point, you have donned some protective gear.  Maybe not a hazmat suit, but some kind of psychological protection…some kind of mental preparation.  If not, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Several times.

I believe I may have been contacted by one of the creepiest men on the planet.  His screen name is bizarre.  And I’ve seen lots of screen names at this point in the game.  It contains two words that are not normally found in dating circles.  One is a bag.  And the other is a word that starts with an “s.”  It’s what Africans were kept as when they were kidnapped and stolen from Africa and brought to North America and rhymes with brave.

He IMed me and I ignored him.  I looked at his profile.  Or maybe I looked at his profile out of perverse curiosity and then he IMed me.  Whatever.  He’s one of those guys who is ALWAYS online.  He has an open invitation to come chat with him on webcam.  He indicates he has a “unique personality with a twist.”

He likes “ladies” (always a dead give away a guy is old enough to be your father) in a dress or a skirt and sexy heels with nice legs and nicely pedicured toes.  He makes plenty of references to beer, which is always a good sign.  He boasts that he’s “kind of different than what you might be used to in a guy!”

About YOU: “You love wearing heels and always keep your feet nicely pedicured and your toenails freshly painted…this is a MUST!  You enjoy shoe shopping and don’t like to go alone…want some company?  You want to make me your &itch.”

The icing on the cake (and the grand finale of the story) happend when I read an email he sent me and his picture looked like this:

The quality is pretty bad, but he’s naked with a bag over his head.  I am going to need intense psychotherapy after experimenting with “free” online dating sites.

Advertisements

2 Responses to OkPervert, I mean, OkCupid

  1. WOW. It looks like you get what you pay for sometimes, in this case… a bunch of losers!

  2. Cindy Thomas says:

    Congrats for being brave enough to read that!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: