A Dating Post-Mortem Dedicated to Dave

If I go out with someone more than, lets say, three times, I like to reflect on what happened.  I’ll be damned if I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again, even though that’s what it always seems to feel like.  I want to know if I missed something obvious, something I should pay more attention to in the future.  My time is precious and I don’t want to waste any more of it than necessary during the dating process.

What did I like about him?

He was moderately successful (I usually date losers, or should I say Losers with a capital “l”?!!).

He didn’t appear to be an alcoholic (bonus points for that!).

He was funny.

Last, but not least, we shared intellectual interests.  We could talk about politics, feminism, racism, and psychology.  That’s something I have not had in the past that I wanted to experience. 

What did I dislike about him?

His narcissism.  Originally, I thought this was a joke, but it turned out to be his major, encompassing flaw.  From the beginning, he made his expectations and preferences clear.  I happily accommodated him in the spirit of compromise.  My expectations and preferences were fewer and far between, and he basically ignored them.  There was the day I wanted to go to the cafe and then more seriously, there was the issue with the condoms.  I expressed to him how uncomfortable I was with not using condoms.  Granted, it takes two people to make a bad decision, but I want to be with someone who takes my preferences as seriously as I take theirs.

Post-mortem Results/Rules to Remember in the Future:

1) In the future, always use condoms…or don’t have sex.  2) Raise your expectations (they are too low)!


One Response to A Dating Post-Mortem Dedicated to Dave

  1. shdwst says:

    I love how you list the likes, dislikes and rules to remember. I want to develop a checklist or survey dates can fill out, I think it will help in the long run.

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