At first I couldn’t decide what to write about and now I’m on a roll. I ended my last post noticing the growing list of things I’ve done to accommodate Dave. These were all things I chose to do, so I have no one to blame but myself. I’m also hesitant to judge his efforts (or anyone else’s for that matter) because people give, express interest, and accommodate in different ways.
I just realized I didn’t spell check my last post. Sorry. I’m also feeling a tad bit premenstrual, so I’m feeling a little bitchier than usual. But if that’s what it takes for me to find the right to complain, then so be it.
How has Dave been inflexible, selfish, or failed to express interest where appropriate?
He has a problem with “cafeteria feminism,” so he prefers to split things 50/50. I’m a “full circle feminist” (I’ll define that another time), so I think the man should pay most of the time. On our first date, he paid for our drinks, then proceeded to ask me if it was okay if we split the check. I said it was fine and we split the check. Since then we’ve pretty much split everything, but he’s paid for things a few times, too. And he’s bought me a few gifts. I’m willing to let this whole thing slide, but DO NOTE that I shaved my legs and painted my toenails for him. What’s the opposite of cafeteria feminism? Cafeteria androcentrism?
The oral sex hasn’t exactly been equitable…I’m definitely getting the less generous end of that deal.
I’m embarrassed to even say this, even though my name (Cindy Thomas) is a pseudonym…during our few sexual encounters, we have not used condoms. He can barely get it up without a condom on, let alone with a condom on. Even though our encounters have been brief and haven’t exactly culminated in fireworks, this is just plain STUPID. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Kind of like the cafe incident, I immediately told him how much that stressed me out…and that we’d have to figure something out…but it happened a few times after that.
I can’t believe how hard it is to admit to asinine behavior.
Moving on, I’ve been struggling with his lack of interest in reading my blog. He knows there’s three parts to it…it’s not JUST about dating, but he doesn’t want to read my blog. He says it’s about respecting my privacy, so it fair to interpret his behavior as a lack of interest? I just can’t comprehend not having a burning desire to read someones blog or journal.