Irritability, Stupidity, and a List of Complaints

At first I couldn’t decide what to write about and now I’m on a roll.  I ended my last post noticing the growing list of things I’ve done to accommodate Dave.  These were all things I chose to do, so I have no one to blame but myself.  I’m also hesitant to judge his efforts  (or anyone else’s for that matter) because people give, express interest, and accommodate in different ways.

I just realized I didn’t spell check my last post.  Sorry.  I’m also feeling a tad bit premenstrual, so I’m feeling a little bitchier than usual.  But if that’s what it takes for me to find the right to complain, then so be it.

How has Dave been inflexible, selfish, or failed to express interest where appropriate?

He has a problem with “cafeteria feminism,” so he prefers to split things 50/50.  I’m a “full circle feminist” (I’ll define that another time), so I think the man should pay most of the time.  On our first date, he paid for our drinks, then proceeded to ask me if it was okay if we split the check.  I said it was fine and we split the check.  Since then we’ve pretty much split everything, but he’s paid for things a few times, too.  And he’s bought me a few gifts.  I’m willing to let this whole thing slide, but DO NOTE that I shaved my legs and painted my toenails for him.  What’s the opposite of cafeteria feminism?  Cafeteria androcentrism?

The oral sex hasn’t exactly been equitable…I’m definitely getting the less generous end of that deal.

I’m embarrassed to even say this, even though my name (Cindy Thomas) is a pseudonym…during our few sexual encounters, we have not used condoms.  He can barely get it up without a condom on, let alone with a condom on.  Even though our encounters have been brief and haven’t exactly culminated in fireworks, this is just plain STUPID.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  Kind of like the cafe incident, I immediately told him how much that stressed me out…and that we’d have to figure something out…but it happened a few times after that.

I can’t believe how hard it is to admit to asinine behavior.

Moving on, I’ve been struggling with his lack of interest in reading my blog.  He knows there’s three parts to it…it’s not JUST about dating, but he doesn’t want to read my blog.  He says it’s about respecting my privacy, so it fair to interpret his behavior as a lack of interest?  I just can’t comprehend not having a burning desire to read someones blog or journal.

4 Responses to Irritability, Stupidity, and a List of Complaints

  1. shdwst says:

    This would be a good time for both of you to go get tested. I think we all get caught up in the moment, I was dumb and didn’t use protection with my last two partners. Now that I think about it, I’m gonna push my testing date up early from November. Oh yeah, he needs to ante up in the oral department.

  2. WOW, are we on the same wavelength or WHAT?

    I have been WAY too chicken to admit it publicly in my own blog because when I told a real life friend he yelled at me for being so irresponsible, but… yeah… I haven’t been making the RockStar use condoms either. 😐

    He is withdrawing before ejaculation (very porn movie and all) and I have always been regular as clockwork with my cycle so I am watching the calendar for when I ovulate (aka it is condom or nothing on those days).

    I am no expert on all the types of men personality out there… but common sense would dictate if he was “into you” he would want to read your blogs. I know I would! Is this the narcissist part again? Because if it is, I am thinking that there isn’t enough room for you in his life of self love.

  3. cindydating says:

    Oh, gosh, I guess that makes me feel a little bit better, but I still feel like a dumb@ss. I’m more worried about STDs than pregnancy, although there wasn’t a lot of regular intercourse happening anyway.

    I’m just frustrated with myself because I know better. I’ve spent years being celibate and I’ve been meticulous about using condoms *every time* for the years I’ve spent off the wagon…I just hate feeling like I’ve taken a huge step backwards.

    It’s a little different if you are in an exclusive relationship with someone. Your friend already gave you a hard time, so I’ll just ask what do YOU think about it in your situation?

  4. Elle says:

    I’m hoping that from here on out, that I’ll be more responsible about this too. I definitely felt the same “dumb@ss” thought about myself. I just need to remember that when I’m all caught up in the moment!

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