It seems like when it comes to dating, people most often rely on immediate sexual attraction as an indicator of whether they want to go out with someone. I was talking to a friend the other day. She is also in her mid-thirties. She always relies on chemistry. If she doesn’t feel attracted to someone, she simply won’t go out with them.
I shared something with her that I have found to be true for myself. The people I have been most wildly attracted to are people who I initially had *no* physical attraction to whatsoever. For whatever reason, I became friends with or worked alongside people who, as I got to know better, I became intensely attracted to. For me personally, this kind of attraction is ultimately what I’m looking for. This is why I go on multiple dates with people I’m not attracted to; attraction may develop over time.
But, it seems like other people are operating under the other principle. If I accept a first, second, or third date with someone, is it assumed that I must be attracted to them? Is that what got me into trouble on Date #2? I wonder how many people make dating decisions based on immediate attraction.