Immediate vs. Delayed Attraction

It seems like when it comes to dating, people most often rely on immediate sexual attraction as an indicator of whether they want to go out with someone.  I was talking to a friend the other day.  She is also in her mid-thirties.  She always relies on chemistry.  If she doesn’t feel attracted to someone, she simply won’t go out with them. 

I shared something with her that I have found to be true for myself.  The people I have been most wildly attracted to are people who I initially had *no* physical attraction to whatsoever.  For whatever reason, I became friends with or worked alongside people who, as I got to know better, I became intensely attracted to.  For me personally, this kind of attraction is ultimately what I’m looking for.  This is why I go on multiple dates with people I’m not attracted to; attraction may develop over time.

But, it seems like other people are operating under the other principle.  If I accept a first, second, or third date with someone, is it assumed that I must be attracted to them?  Is that what got me into trouble on Date #2?  I wonder how many people make dating decisions based on immediate attraction.

2 Responses to Immediate vs. Delayed Attraction

  1. kumkum19 says:

    In India marriages are sttled by parents between girls and daughters of known/unknown families by arranging meeting of would be bride and bridegroom in presence of family members and even in some cases without arranging such meetings. The spouses live together firstand come to know each other later.With passing of time their mutual attraction grows.This atraction is not based on only physical qualities as good habits,intelligence,respect,manners etc are also some of the key factors for growth of this attraction.

  2. I wonder how many people make dating decisions based on immediate attraction.

    Guilty as charged. 😉

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