Reflecting back to Bob and the way that a bike ride, dinner, and half a glass of wine added up to unwanted sexual advances, this leads me to two more questions, which relate to each other.
Question #2: Don’t men know that we can have sex whenever we want?
Right now, I’m sitting at home by myself, unshowered, and I bet you I could be having sex with a man in 30 minutes or less. In other words, I could have sex with pretty much whoever I want, whenever I want. Or I can masturbate. Why should I want to have sex at all, let alone with you?
Why would I want to potentially expose myself to pregnancy and STDs (condom’s can break) in exchange for…20 minutes of feeling good, culminating in feeling frustrated (see Question #3)? What kind of trade-off is that? So, back to Bob. Why didn’t I respond to Bob’s sexual advances? First, because I didn’t want to. Second, because I’d rather have sex with my vibrator, which is exactly what I did when I got home. Thirty seconds of pleasure and a great orgasm with no chance of getting pregnant or acquiring an STD. Fabulous!
Question #3: Do men realize that male and female sexual organs are more alike than different?
Do they not realize that the equivalent of their penis is our clitoris? How would they like it if we played with their testicles for 10 minutes, managed to gratify ourselves, and rolled over and went to sleep?
I heard a term years ago. It was something like ‘masturbatory sex.’ I didn’t quite get what it meant. Then one day, it dawned on me. It’s what I just described. It’s selfish sex, using someone else’s body as a means of masturbation – without returning the favor!
One thing I won’t quantify on this blog is how many times I’ve had sex with men without having an orgasm. Or how many times I’ve had sex with the same person, over and over, and haven’t had an orgasm. Or how many times I’ve had one-night stands with men and didn’t have an orgasm. Would you like to know why I didn’t have an orgasm on this multitude of occasions? Because too many of men I’ve slept with didn’t bother, not once, to touch my clitoris. One night, I had sex with this guy who was supposed to be the local Rico Suave. We had sex three times in one night. I initiated the sex the second and third time. Why? Because I wasn’t satisfied. Nope, still not satisfied after the third time. I NEVER had sex with him again. He was probably perplexed, wondering why I was a sex maniac on one occasion and never slept with him again. Duh.