Looking back, having PMS didn’t help the situation

There have been some ups and downs, but I’m feeling a lot calmer now. I think the key is to accept things as they are and not worry about whether or exactly how things will pan out.

And I totally hear you about relationships presenting an entirely new set of problems!! It’s so funny how we want to be in a relationship, but then relationships bring up so much…STUFF. Emotions, baggage, fears.

These are the times I reflect back on what I said I wanted in a man. Harley isn’t a “perfect” match. I wasn’t picturing a man with three teenagers but he has so many of the qualities I’m looking for…and that’s a unique mix. I’ll keep forging ahead and do my best to enjoy the process…not just the honeymoon aspects, but the non-Kodak moments as well!

Wow, this seems to be a difficult subject and one you can likely do nothing about. I doubt it’s possible to ask the children to not share and that may just aggravate the situation. Perhpas, indirectly they will start learning to be more sympathetic and empathetic and care about how they make people feel. I imagine this is something you would influence them in. I see you as someone who has many values and understandings of human nature, etc.

As such, you probably do know that the children’s motivations also have nothing to do with you personally. While it’s impossible to not feel hurt and angry at being used as a tool of manipulation, step back from the situation. Try and understand that this is about them. Once you do this, it will also have less potential damaging effects on, you and Harley. Perhaps, you and Harley can join forces to try and see how you can help his children as opposed to being put on the defensive warding off crazy ex-phone calls and trying to justify your relationship.

I don’t know. Good luck. Isn’t it funny how a relationship presents an entirely new set of problems. So, when you experience fights with Harley even though it hurts, be grateful and remember the loneliness that used to be in its place.